Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Performance Enhancing Drugs

I have to say, all this talk about performance enhancing drugs, or PEDs, has got me to thinking: If I thought it would make me better at what I do, would I do them?

I am actually of many minds here (having never done performance enhancing drugs, but having many times taken mind altering drugs), so I am not sure if I will even be able to answer the question.

Let’s start by saying you made a stupidly high amount of money for doing what you do. Whatever it is that you do – accountant, nurse, writer, IT person, doctor, lawyer, janitor. And what if someone said “Hey, if you take this, you will be an even BETTER______!” (Fill in the blank with your profession.) So you took the drug and sure enough you kicked some major ass! And then your bosses wanted to give you even MORE money because they were so impressed by your abilities. What would you do? Hell yeah, you’d take the drug!

Okay, then your better judgment kicks in and you think to yourself “Oh no! This isn’t fair because I am not really this good!” Okay, that’s not a realistic scenario. Try this: Your boss says you have to pee in a cup and they are going to test you for PEDs and if you turn up hot, you will be punished. They don’t know what that punishment will be, and you will probably still have your job and an indecent amount of money, but may also have to go on ESPN and tell everyone you are an idiot. You’ll still be rich, but an idiot. Oh, and you will have an asterisk next to your name for the rest of your life.

The way I see it is this: This is a no brainer. Of course you take the damn drug.

So for right now I am of the mind that if there was a drug that made me better at what I do, and if I could make 28 million dollars a year by taking the drug, and then not really be held too very accountable, yer darn tootin’ my ass is on that drug, even if it means I grow a moustache and an Adam’s apple. Testosterone, anyone?

Copyright (c) 2009 Leslie R Becker

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