AOL is NOT My Friend

I hate AOL. I do. Yes, it is indeed my primary email provider, and even though for years I have been saying “AOL sucks! I am going to switch to another email,” I never do. Oh sure, I open other accounts, but I never even get as far as alerting my friends to this new address. Why? Well, different reasons -- I don’t like the way it looks, or I can’t figure out how to save mail into folders or it pisses me off in the way that only an inert software program can, so I give up on the new kid on the block and stay with old faithful, no matter how much I hate it. And I hate it bad.

I am not quite sure what AOL’s definition of “SPAM Blocker” is, because I delete an average of 75 SPAM emails a day. Yes, I said each and every day. Here’s a list of what was deleted today alone:

ADD TO YOU DVD COLLECTION TODAY!
TIP: DRINK THIS SMOOTHIE TO SMOOTH YOUR SKIN!
LESLIE, DO YOU NEED CASH ASAP?
FORECLOSURE WOES? CALL NOW!
WIN $10,000 BY PLAYING FUN TV TRIVIA GAMES!
ADVANCE YOUR CAREER TODAY WITH A NURSING DEGREE!

Who told AOL I wanted any of these things? Well, I do need cash ASAP, but I am sure whatever they are offering is bogus, just like the whole "Blog for fast $$" thing. But at least the emails about increasing the size of my penis have finally stopped. I was seriously getting a complex about my small penis, a complex that was made worse by the fact that I don't have a penis. But, they did finally stop, presumably since I never actually clicked on the link to a "...larger, fuller, more manly you." I kind of miss them, though. I liked knowing how to grow 2 inches without electricity or painful pumps.

But mostly I hate AOL because they know they have me and that I will never leave them. It’s like the smug husband who openly cheats because he knows his spouse will never, ever leave. Well guess what, buster, one of these days I am OUTA here. You’re not the boss of me! I’m going to get me a new email address! So take your cheatin’ AOL ass and LEAVE! But wait…before you go, I need to send a few emails…




Copyright (c) 2009 Leslie R Becker